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07 // audio // when in doubt, eavesdrop
[Alex has avoided outright conversation for most of the event, but he's opened his feed now and again to find out if it's over. This is one such occasion.
He doesn't speak, but you might notice a mysteriously less-than-chatty feed going around, broadcasting the very, very faint sound of shallow breathing and occasionally the clink and gulp of quiet drinking.]
He doesn't speak, but you might notice a mysteriously less-than-chatty feed going around, broadcasting the very, very faint sound of shallow breathing and occasionally the clink and gulp of quiet drinking.]
[audio]
[Oh shit, he walked into this. Okay, we've got regret, shame, a spot of extra fear; it's a party in Alex's voice and all the crappy emotions are invited!]
When I talk to anyone from that project, I - [He clenches his teeth, but that works for all of three seconds.] - it's like going back to that summer. It's like reliving what he did. I keep thinking he's gonna jump out from around a corner, which he probably will now, or that next time we see each other you won't remember anything we talked about. I can't deal with that. 'Cause you forgot everything, J. Everything. Those times he wandered onto set. Half the shoot. Searching around in the forest behind that red tower...
[He finally manages to slow to a stop, swallowing heavily. Fuck. Hope you're happy. His heart's not in the thought.]
[audio]
When he finally speaks, his voice is low, and if Alex cares to listen hard enough he can hear the hurt in it.]
I looked for you. When I watched those tapes I saw things I didn't remember, things that scared the hell out of me. I kept looking because I had to know you were alive. [A beat.] When I gave up, when I ran for my life? They watched me. They found me again. Sent me a tape with you and your girlfriend.
I don't know what's happened to me, Alex. I know that when I find out? It'll probably end in death. They'll find me in some branches somewhere, or there'll be a fire, or I'll just be gone, suffocating behind some goddamn mask.
And you know, I wish I could say I wouldn't regret it.
But I do.
Especially now.
[He pauses for a moment, like he's going to say something else (something along the lines of "so fucking sorry I can't overcome the supernatural"), but he just snaps the feed off instead.]
[audio, technically]
[Alex feels sick.
You're not gonna die, is one thought that sticks out. He doesn't try to say it out loud; he doesn't know if he'd be able to, because he doesn't know if it's true. You're not gonna die. He looks down at his hands; the tiny white scars are invisible in the darkness. His grip tightens on his coffee mug.]